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Writer's Block: Yes, offense taken
Sparky
sparkindarkness
If a friend or relative makes a racist or homophobic remark, do you tend to confront them or let it slide? Are you more likely to confront them if it offends you directly or someone else who seems reluctant to speak up?


Most of the time, yes, I try. Every single time?

No. And I'm deeply ashamed of that. I don't even confront them when they're aimed at me and mine all the time.

Sometimes it's because of the person. When my Alzheimers afflicted 90 year old grandmother let's the foolish fall out of her mouth - well there's no profit to correct her. Ok she's an extreme case but there are others as well who you just know are going to be a waste of time.

But usually it's because I'm tired and I just don't want to do it AGAIN with someone who, I can almost guarantee, will learn nothing from it other than "Sparky's an oversensitive PC type." And it's so damn common that I sometimes feel I'm having the same argument 3 or 4 times a day

I try to speak up, because I'm not LGBT, and so can't really be accused of being over-sensitive.

That is a huge bonus (youy'll still get the pcer!) :)

Yeah, if it's coming from someone over the age of 80, I don't bother. I'm not going to convince them to think differently at this point, and they're a product of their childhood environment. My own generation though, I usually try.

There's not much point then I think. Own generation is much more productive.

I find even with people who are older than me but not in their 80s that they do sometimes tend to be hostile to any suggestion of correction from someone younger

Life is far too short to want to fight non-stop with ignorant humans. I would much rather invest in friends like the ones I have here, who basically like me for me, and not what I do or who I like, know what I mean? If someone gets in my face, yea, I'll jump back in theirs, but more often than not I just walk away because fighting isn't my gig.

It's the time and energy that drags me down. I do feel a need to counter it because there's so much of it around that just gets a pass - but it's a l;ot of effort

Gods! Don't I know that one. Its part of the reason I walk away now, got tired always standing there taking the punches for being just who I was born to be. *hug* You are who you are because that is who you were meant to be.

If it's meaningful yes. In most cases it does not good. I will take what action I can with what power I have within the law. If brutality is involved I'll do what I deem is needed.

In most cases it does no good. But personally i like to speak up because at least it sends a message that this crap is unacceptable. Silence is consent after all.

But it's damn tiring

I feel exactly the same way about my christianity... and explaining and defending it.

I get sick of going over the same ground again and again, especially with people who are too narrow minded to realise that their 'clever' arguments are just the same public tripe that all poorly educated anti-churchies come out with.

Now if I were to come across a thoughtful atheist, or a considered agnostic? That's great - then we can have a meaningful discussion... but if it's just the same old wall of platitudes about creationism, about the omni prescence of God and about the various rules on sex - I can't be arsed.

Why am I putting this here? Because I think we are all confronted by this level of stupidity, across many fronts. And the more mature and educated we become in our field, the less we can be arsed fighting with the plebs who won't actually inform themselves. And the futility isn't restricted to a single field, or to a single group of people.

Don't feel ashamed or that you are oversensitive, it's just them being idiots, which they probably are about many things.

In the end the sheer numbers can eventually wear you down because there are a huge number of them.

It's sad because the messages do need to be countered but the time and effort feels... so wasted at times

Most of the time I correct it because chances are I am with my children and I feel that if I let it go, it sends a message to them. They have forced me to confront isms more than I ever did before I became a mother.

I did have an incident a few years ago where a co-worker used a gay slur. I didn't say anything at the time because I knew the man was a dolt and because I know how my co-workers react to correction but the truth is I wish I could go back and say something. I know that homophobia thrives in that environment specifically because people don't say anything. I know I enabled and supported this by my silence because I didn't want to get into a beef and because they already thought that I was too miserable. Of course this is no excuse for my actions and I acknowledge that it was my privilege not to comment. I certainly would not have let something racist go by me.

Children give a very powerful motivator, I never considered that angle.


I've been in the same situation concerning any number of slurs - GBLT, race, ableist and definitely sexist. I look back and think "I shouldn't have let that slide" but if they're a fool and you know everyone around you isn't sympathetic... it's hard. We should speak, we know we're enabling everything we're fighting against. But it's hard. And tiring.

At times I've even let blatant homophobia go past me because I didn't have the energy for it (but I'm certainly more sensitive to homophobia than I am anything else - my own privilege showing). But then I get angry with myself afterwards and regret it painfully.

Yes. This occurred to me later, thinking about it further - if my daughter were with me, I might correct even someone who I had no hope of swaying, because it'd be for HER benefit, not theirs.

Children, by far, are a great motivator, I have several and since they came into being I have tried to educate them as best I can about excepting others. It's interesting watching them now dealing with other kids their ages and what is and isn't correct behaviours toward those "different" from them. I am terrifically proud because they have short fuses when the other kids get all miffy about GLBT, as I am BI and they all know it. They won't tollerate the ignorance and try to inform instead. :)

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