Spark_in_darkness ([info]sparkindarkness) wrote,
2012-02-25 15:45:00
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Your shock is a privilege - We Can't be Shocked by a Daily Occurrence

*deep breaths* my temper is frayed on this one. I’ve just come across a blog post by a straight person who is most displeased that the GBLT community is not more up in arms and outraged by the group beating of Brandon White in Atlanta. She wanted to see more outpouring of… I don’t even know what. Outrage, grief, anger, shock? She judges us for not reacting more forcefully to the gay bashing and not paying more attention to it.

And I wish it was just another failed ally pulling this privileged shit, but sadly, she’s not alone.

What did you expect? It was a brutal gay bashing? Yeah then and every other day of the week. You don’t get it. blinkered straight folks, this isn’t unusual or freaky or weird or shocking. This is a normal day. This shit happens every day. Every bloody day – and yes as bad and much much worse.

I have yet to publish a bad news list that didn’t contain shocking violence. Mob attacks, stitches, beating, broken bones, concussion, rape, rape with objects, burning people with hot water, setting them on fire and, of course, murder. Beatings, stabbings, shootings, burnings, arson. Over and over again.

Look. Look at the list. Read them. It happens over and over and over again

And in my list of links for the next round up which I’ll get to once I have the strength for it I have at murders, mob attacks, mass arrests and a 16 year old kid with a broken jaw. And that’s just a brief scan of the links in the folder.

NONE of these cases get vast amounts of attention from the GBLT blogosphere or GBLT news sources. They’re reported on once, maybe twice and then we move on. If developments happen – like suspects caught or a court case develops, it is reported on – that’s about it. Even murders rarely get massive outpourings of shock and horror from us any more. There’s too many of them for more and we’re too inured to violence for a greater response.

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Tags: faith in humanity dying, gbltq issues, homophobia, privilege, rants

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  • 12 comments

[info]big_wired

February 25 2012, 16:42:28 UTC 3 months ago

In hearing about this person's outrage over there not being enough outrage, I get this feeling of almost parental disapproval, like maybe she needs to personally motivate the GLBT community so that things can get fixed.

You have good points in that you have to keep moving forward, otherwise you'll just drown in the anger and fear, and for me and any other straight ally to say otherwise would be yet more exercising of our privilege. It reminds me of an Onion article, about how a man is elected Leader of Women to get things done for them since they're not moving fast enough to get rid of sexism.

[info]sparkindarkness

February 26 2012, 00:49:19 UTC 3 months ago

Thankfully one of the people who prompted this post has read listened and learned and apologised. Yes, an ally learning, it can happen and it restores a little of my faith

of course, it's not a one time deal or a one person deal and, sadly, we do get a shed load of allies who overdo the shock to prove their allydom and no small number who think we're just not doing this activism thing right

[info]big_wired

February 26 2012, 01:31:52 UTC 3 months ago

Good! Yeah, I followed the link to your other blog and saw, and that's good.

It's the other part that's depressing... hopefully, I can do my part to set people straight so that they don't distract from the discussion with outrage.

[info]afro_dyte

February 25 2012, 20:26:29 UTC 3 months ago

Shock!horror!outrage! Look how shocked, horrified, and outraged I am . . . :-|

Note to would-be allies: when you're done being shocked, horrified, and outraged, there's a long list of real work that needs to get done.

[info]neo_prodigy

February 25 2012, 22:10:13 UTC 3 months ago

Like for starters, how about lecturing the cis straight community on why THEY AREN'T outraged as opposed to the GLTBQ community. Or was there a memo I missed somewhere.

[info]sparkindarkness

February 26 2012, 00:54:09 UTC 3 months ago

Now that? That would be helpful

Oer reminding the straight cis community that if they're going to be outraged, could they be outraged about all of it, not the isolated cases that are shoved under their noses - and after that could they STOP already?

[info]sparkindarkness

February 26 2012, 00:53:24 UTC 3 months ago

I managed equal shock horror and outrage (and I am shocked by teh sheer amount of shock you are radiated) but I found you can't really maintain it for more than say, oh, 56 hours. At which point your facial muscles start cramping and you've ran out of corsets to have loosened. And you get thirsty, and it's really hard to maintain "shocked, horrified and outraged" when you're also gasping for a cup of tea. And while it is so terribly British to have a tea break in your shocked horror, it does rather lessen the effect


At least one of the people who prompted this post read and learned, which is something. But there's a lot more out there

[info]biteythevampire

February 25 2012, 20:53:49 UTC 3 months ago

Why is she pestering the GLBT community?? Who but the HETERO community is ever behind violence against non-heteros?

And the long list of work for would-be allies begins with pestering THEIR OWN to start giving a shit.

[info]sparkindarkness

February 26 2012, 01:11:50 UTC 3 months ago

While she read and learned for which I am thankful, the udnerlying idea is that we weren't reacting strongly enough to an attack.

When, in the grand scheme of homophobia, the attack was neither more shocking nor more horrific than happens multiple multiple times - it's just that this is one straight folks heardabout.

[info]immini

February 25 2012, 22:14:48 UTC 3 months ago

I was gay-bashed on a crowded train once. Not one person did a damn thing during the attack to stop or stand against it. They waited until my attackers were gone to ask if I was ok and to say how terrible it was, how oh-so frightening it must have been for me.

Getting outraged about it is easy. Doing some of the hard work required to prevent it is another story.

[info]immini

February 25 2012, 22:19:30 UTC 3 months ago

Incidentally, they only seem to get angry over attacks to young gay men. When it comes to the hundreds and thousands of transwomen (disproportionately so women of colour), I rarely see them make a peep. It makes me sick.

But hey, I bet they cried over 'Boys Don't Cry' once, so that's an adequate dose of ally-outrage for one lifetime.

[info]sparkindarkness

February 26 2012, 01:12:38 UTC 3 months ago

I'm sorry to hear that and wish I wasn't used to this enough to be shocked.

Sympathy and outrage don't protect us, alas. But they make very very good gestures
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