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So I got a phone call
Sparky
sparkindarkness

Beloved:  *unbelievably cheerful* Sparky!   Hurry home, I miss you!

 Sparky: *suspicious look at phone* what did you do?

 Beloved: What? Can’t I just…

 Sparky:No. What did you do?

 Beloved: Look, before you get mad…

 Sparky: I’m saving time, I’m already mad.

 Beloved: But listen, listen, listen, because this is actually good I promise, listen…

 Sparky: I’m listening. Do elaborate on this “actually good” thing.

 Beloved: Well, there was a huge screw up at my friend X’s work (who works in the meat industry doing… meat industry type things) and he’s got all these chickens going really cheap. So I got some off him.

 Sparky: That’s not bad…

 Beloved: See! I mean, you said we could always use chickens so I said yes and loaded up.

Sparky: Wait wait, I said we could always use chicken. Did you just say chickenS?

 Beloved: yes, same difference.

 Sparky: Whole chickens? As entire full chickens? You’ve just bought a load of full frozen chickens?

 Beloved: They’re not frozen.

 Sparky: …ok… how many fresh chickens did you buy?

 Beloved: Errr… not fresh exactly. More… defrosted. They were frozen and now they’re not. Shall I put them in the freezer?

 Sparky: NO! You can’t refreeze defrosted raw meat! How many are there?

 Beloved: I though you couldn’t, that’s why they’re on the kitchen units. You won’t believe how cheap…

 Sparky: How many are there?

 Beloved: You always said chicken’s so versatile. You can eat it every day for a month and…

 Sparky: How. Many. Are. There?

 Beloved: It’s not that bad.

 Sparky: More than 2? More than 5? More than 10? More than 50? More than 100?

 Beloved: Don’t be silly, of course there’s not more than 50.

 Sparky: …you wouldn’t consider more than 10 to be silly?

 Beloved: 10 is not that silly…

 Sparky: Am I looking at a number between 10 and 50 chickens? Defrosted chickens? Are you telling me this? Really?

 Beloved: Noooooo… don’t be silly! Of course not! Of course there’s less than 10!

 Sparky: ok… so, how many.

 Beloved: Only 8. *sigh of relief*

 Sparky:…Eight whole chickens I can’t freeze?

 Beloved: Yes. Fifty! You don’t have a lot of faith in me!

 Sparky: Eight?!

 Beloved: yes, only eight. See you soon! *hangs up*

 Sparky: Wait! *dial tone*

 Well at least it isn’t 50.

 Looks like I need to cook a few dozen chicken recipes and freeze them. Why why why does he buy food? Why?!


I have a pretty tasty honey-soy chicken recipe, if you want it. It assumes boneless thighs or breasts, but probably works just fine with any variant of chicken part.

This could be very very useful, thankee

Recipe!

1) Preheat the oven to around 315F. No more than 350, no lower than 300; depends on how fast you want to cook vs. how gently.

2) Mix 2-4 tablespoons soy sauce with 2-4 tablespoons honey and 1 tablespoon olive oil, in a little bowl; microwave or otherwise heat to make sure the honey actually mixes in properly. (You can scale the honey and soy according to how sweet or salty you want the combo to be; I tend to make it slightly more honey than soy.)

3) Thoroughly brush down skinless (and ideally but not necessarily boneless) chicken pieces--I prefer thighs or other dark meat--with the sauce, and lay them out in Pyrex casserole dish or the like. Pour leftover sauce into the dish.

4) Bake for however long it takes for the meat thermometer to say it's safe. It'll depend on your chicken cuts and chosen temperature, but at low temps this often clocks in around an hour.

5) Let sit a few minutes after cooking; not so long that it gets cold, but past the initial scalding point. (For some reason the sauce tastes better the longer you give it to breathe a little afterward.) Serve (sliced or whole) over rice or baby spinach--and I often use the remaining sauce in the pan for salad dressing or rice topping for however long it lasts.

It's pretty much a four-ingredient recipe, plus whatever you serve it over, which is part of why I like it.

Halping. The word for that is Halping. :-)

I'm sure this must be connected to some kind of mental pathology, but danged if I can figure out what it is. Pre-hoarding? Nom obsessiveness? I got nuthin'.

A desperate urge to accept any and all bargains, methinks

I can't do anything but laugh. And be grateful that R rarely buys food.

I need to take everything resembling currency off him

OK, I may not know much about cooking. But couldn't you just bake them plain, freeze, and then make stuff with them later? If not, I have a very easy recipe for paprika chicken, along with a few stir fries.

I can, but I think a lot of chicken dishes work better when you cook from raw since you can get more flavour pounded into the chicken,

Some of them I'm just cooked (or parboiled - like you have for some stir fries) and just frozen and hope I cna do more with them when the time comes. But I've been trying to cook BIG BATCH MEALS and freeze them

*laughing* Oh dear. At least chicken is versatile?

There is that, at least it's not lamb

Cook a big batch recipe and then give away the leftovers! Even if you have to dress in black, and leave the leftovers on the neighbors' doorsteps in the dark of night.

I've been cooking many many many many big batch recipes and freeezing them

I may have to revrse mug the neighbours

*ded*
I would roast half of them and pull the meat apart and freeze it to use for soups, casseroles, etc., the other half I would put in a Jeffrey Dahmer head cooking pot and make the most giant delish bunch of stock. Stock is gold.

Also, you could render the chix fat (schmaltz) and use it similarly to duck fat!

I've beenm batch cooking. Forever! batch after batch after batch

I will soon be dreaming of chicken

I've put all the chicken fat in the stock I think

Interesting. Eee goda man, you 2 must be eating everything chix for weeks. When I do stock, and trust that I'm the QUEEN of stock (tm) you get the amazing fat layer on top when you chill it. I always skin that goodness off, and save in a diff container. The stock itself should be like jello, with all the natural gelatin and whatnot, so I do that in 1 c rations for the freezer. SO GOOD!

Although, and I think this might amuse you, I drink (wine) when I cook. So husbandman is hyper-vig about me using sharp cutlery whilst drinking. I keep telling him I need a cleaver to chop bones open to let the marrow out for stock. His response is always along the likes of fuck no, you'll be chopping off a finger. And we don't always have milk in the house to get you to the ER to reattach. Seriously Sir? Who has these kind of convos, you know? Sheesh.

This is why Sam doesn't get to go near the grocery store!!

I have to admit, in an otherwise really crappy week, this gave me a much needed chuckle.:))

Good luck with those chickens.

I am going to ban Beloved from having money. Ever ever ever

This is where I look at my pressure canner and think 'hmmmmm,that'd can up nicely'

*laughs* Your beloved is quite the partner... just, man oh man, I could listen to stories of you two all day long.

There will be no encouraging of the Beloved!

You poor thing. 8 chickens is a lot to process at home. You may want to rescind Beloved's ability to make executive decisions about anything related to food. This really reminds me of the time he defrosted a huge amount of mince and you ended up boiling it with the standard starter seasonings and re-freezing it into proper portions for later meals.

Since the chicken will already be cooked just think of how much faster making dinner will be. Chicken salad? Mix and done. Soup? Throw it in frozen and cook until hot. There's also stuff like artichoke spinach pasta (chicken, artichoke, spinach, bacon, bits of tomato, some garlic and onion, whatever else and thick alfredo sauce heated to a boil and tossed with penne), white chicken chili, chicken enchilada bake, chicken tacos and burritos, lots of things.

You could also be very mean and make him stand outside and grill half of those chickens himself. At the very least he should help you pick them apart for the freezer.

I have rescinded it but he keeps unrescinding! I may have to lock him in a cage. Just like the mince. and the turkey.

Yep half of it I've just cooked and refrozen so i can throw cooked chicken into anything. the rest has been made into huge batch meals.

The thought of Beloved, a BBQ and a full chicken makes me want to run and hide

LOL! I needed a good laugh after having such a bad day, coupled with catching some weird ailment that is stuck on me... And now because of your post, I carve chicken soup.
But hey, at least you two have enough poultry to last through the winter!

I have enough [poultry to last forever!!!!

abnd lots of chicken soup

Beloved is a golden retriever, isn't he?

He has a desperate need to collect and horde

I would have recommended cooking and them in such a way that they can be added to recipes later, rather than you having to cook 8 chickens' worth of recipes all in one night, but this post appears to be two days old already. I imagine they've long since been cooked and re-frozen by now.

You really need to take away that boy's bank card before he hurts himself... or you do.

Ha;f of it I've just cooked (either boil or roast) to be thrown into recipes at a later date, the rest is in huge batch recipes/

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