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I stand victorious on the field of combat
Sparky
sparkindarkness

So Beloved and I are having a brief little tussle.

 We have a doorstop in our kitchen. And I hate it.

 Firstly, you have to understand I like my barriers. I hate open plan. I like my walls. I like closed doors. I like curtains drawn. I like a house to be made of lots of little boxes that can be nicely sealed away from the outside world. And a door’s default state should be CLOSED.

 I also cook. I don’t want the door open when I’m cooking, smoke and grease and cooking smells permeate the house and sink into the soft furnishings. This is common sense.

Beloved leaves doors open. This annoys me, I’m constantly closing them after him and plotting revenge

 But in the kitchen? He uses a doorstop. WHY?! Why would you want to prop the door open?! He claims it’s because he often has to leave the kitchen with hands full of plates and pots. This is not an excuse, the door is easily opened and he does that maybe once a day. But he uses the stop, which I have to fight with and kick across the floor several times a day. And the times I’ve stood on it in bare feet

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it

 And now I’ve thrown it away

 An hour before the binmen came. Beloved couldn’t rescue it. We now don’t have a doorstop.

 VICTORY!

 I emerge victorious from the field of battle, battered and with sore feet, I did prevail and the doors are now closed.

 Beloved is now amused. Beloved is plotting revenge. I will be ready for him.


Laugh at his defeat! Laugh at him!

Uh Oh. I predict a screwed into the door doorstop. But since this takes some time to install you should be able to keep Beloved distracted with other shiny things.

This would require Beloved using a screwdriver. This would amuse me

He'll nail every door open when you're gone, you know that, right? You can never leave him alone in the house. And if he tries to do it when you're at home just do what you do with bad behavior in cats. Get out the spray bottle and get him on the back of the head. Kill shots, only. It's more humane that way.

And let me play Devil's Advocate here... maybe he's trying to get you to open up and be less hermit-like. That was a resolution, was it not? Or was it just less booze-non-coping?

I can leave him alone in the house, I will merely have to tie him to the bed

Being less hermity means going out the house, not letting my soft furnishings smell of fish and curry

Tying him down works, and is fun.

Here's a thought, don't make curry? Fish, well, that's unavoidable. But you could cut out the curry. Everyone can cut out the curry.

There will be no encouragement! Especially not of ugly garish things like that!

According to all the house hunting and home improvement shows I watch open plan is what most everyone is suppose to want. Like you though I prefer my spaces to be well defined and separated by walls.


I wonder if Beloved would go as far as taking door off hinges?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS. I want mah waaaaalls!

Not alone, he's far to DIY inept for that

Perhaps I should hint to Beloved that my grandparents had a really cool doorstop. It was a 10 pound hunk of brown and white gypsum. I remember hearing that thing scrape across the floor. I thought it was so cool. No idea what ever happened to it after they died.

Some doorstops actually have a little protrusion that you can grab with your toes (or fingers) and thus pull the door stop out from under the door. (So you don't have to hurt your feet kicking it.)

No encouraging the Beloved! And that sounds like a recipe for banging your toes on a lump of rock

Is this a doorstop which I see before me, the handle toward my hand?

Edited at 2013-02-16 05:52 am (UTC)

Come, let me bludgeon him, I have him not and I better not see him again!

So Beloved will either reach for a can of baked beans or a defrosted chicken right?

No. ohj nonnonononononononono

And there is no chicken in the house. I have defeated the chicken!

Oh dear. I think you may just have given me an insight into how much I annoy my own Beloved by leaving the doors open for the cats. Constantly. Ooops.

He is probably plotting evil revenge against you, it is known

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