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So very much agreed
Sparky
sparkindarkness


Yes yes and yes. My home has completely lost gay bars because the number of straight tourists has driven gay people out or made the space unsafe by both numbers or by grossly obnoxious behaviour

 

There are almost no spaces in the world where LGBT people are not an inherent minority. That's not even a comment on homophobia, that's simple demographics. Even the most generous metrics put LGBT people at about 10% of the population. We are inherently a minority, we will always be, inherently, a minority. Which means 99.9% of everywhere we go all the time we are surrounded by people not like us. All the time (this was an amusing revelation to one of my colleagues lately). So yes, I - and many others - are very protective of the teeny tiny spaces we managed to carve out in this HUGE STRAIGHT WORLD where, for a few blissful moments, we can be us, surrounded by us, knowing everyone around us is... us.

 

And before anyone cries about it "not being fair". Cis, straight folks - you have the world. The entire freaking world. Every day is straight pride day. Every bar is a straight bar (where we're still evicted on a regular basis). You never have to be careful, being a cis straight person in an LGBT world. You never have to be afraid, being a cis straight person in an LGBT world. You are not the only one of your sexuality or gender identity in a room. You do not have that daily pressure not to be you because you are cis and straight. We need these guarded corners because you have filled the rest of the space with your overwhelming presence but also your overwhelming culture of superiority and hostility - and that's a culture that follows you EVEN IF you are fighting against that. No matter how much of an ally you are, your presence adds to the majority, a majority which, frankly, frightens me.

And, really, you've got the whole world. You object to our tiny corners?


LOVE THIS! Back in the 80's, my galpals, my gay friends and I always hung out at a gay club called Peanuts, where they had the best drag shows ever. They always had fundraisers going and we'd stay all night, get an early breakfast at a bistro down the block and then go crash asleep at home. I can honestly say it was the ONLY club I ever felt safe in. I knew no one was going to hit on me, grope me, put something in my drink, or worse. The men were absolutely lovely to me, always.

Yeah. And yet, we gay and lesbian people create those safe spaces, but part of the reason why I don't go to mainstream gay bars any more is because of the straight people - particularly straight women and packs of hen nights - taking them over. I don't want to exclude friends-of-gays from gay bars and clubs. However, now that mainstream gay bars have become a tourist attraction for straight women - some of them probably seeking exactly that friendly, non-threatening atmosphere you describe - they don't feel safe for me as a lesbian woman any more. Instead of feeling welcomed, women in gay bars are often now assumed to be straight by staff and clients - to the extent of having straight men hit on them. Or if we're not being set up as a target for straight men, we're excluded by the dominant hen night aesthetic (hyper-femme, short skirts and heels where I come from). A friendly mixed atmosphere is fantastic - one where gay women aren't welcome, and gay men are only welcome as exotic animals in a zoo for straight people to gawp at, isn't.

Ah, I understand. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me.

And thank you for taking the time to read carefully.

I'm grateful, and I also would like to apologize if I offended you in any way. =)

When I pick out straight women in gay bars as particularly exclusive, by the way, that is not to ignore the still graver threat of women being raped in gay bars. It happens. Gay people could be the culprits, but somehow I doubt it. That's why we need to be very careful about who we let into our spaces.

Here in the French Quarter of New Orleans, I suspet the % of GLBT folk is double or quadruple the average. Down here, folks of different sexual orientaton, economic classes, races, and ethnics get along better than any other place I have ever lived.

There are both gay and TS readers out on the quare/ The get many client who are straight I am not saying there is no bias or hatred, just that it eems far less tan anywhere I have ever lived. .

Come for a vacation some year. I you come during Decadence Fest, you may feel you are in a large plurality..
http://www.southerndecadence.net/ .

Louisiana still has sodomy laws on the books - and at least some of the police forces in that state are trying to enforce them despite being unconstitutional. It doesn't really make me eager to visit...

I'm glad there are relatively large numbers of LGBT people who feel they can walk around openly in the city, it's certainly a change from some of its horrendous past - but just seeing some walking around openly doesn't really judge the level of safety and security they feel.

Sadly, we see hate crimes in even the highest % GLBT places - even places like the Castro in SF or in Soho in London or Canal Street in Manchester - the bigots know where to hunt for us (and I don't think there's anywhere where we're in equal numbers to the straight folk)

Oh, Louisiana is a bastion of troglodytes. New Orleans is like unto a different country. And the French Quarter is like a different planet. I have known openly gay cops down here. People have been arrested & hauled off to jail for hassling gays (committing a hate crime).

Yes, there are violent fucktards. Usually young men from the boonies, but they are a small minority compared to other places I have lived. Ans when they are vastly outnumbered they rarely o more than grumble at the gays.

Ye gods, who takes a hen night to a gay bar? People who organise hen nights are weird.

I've been to a couple of gay bars, but only because people who were regulars invited me to meet them there (it being easier for them to go to their local). That was back in the 90s, and I really liked the vibe, but it would not occur to me to make those bars *my* local. It's not my place, since I'm not LGBT.

Sorry your town lost its gay bars.

H

My local gay club is always full of hen nights. It's considered a 'safe' place for them to go, since their future husbands don't have to worry about them cheating. Plus, y'know, the place is full of fashionable accessories *puke*

There's a reason I don't get out much.

Accidentally responded while not logged in, sorry about that. Recap: WTF? I am so glad nobody invites me to hen nights. I'd rip them a new one if they told me we were going to intrude like that.

H

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